Carrie Sinnott Smith
October 6, 2021; 7 months after welcoming my son into this world I was diagnosed with Stage 2B Invasive Ductal Carcinoma Progesterone & Estrogen POSTIVE, HER2 negative. 35 years young, with two kids under 4, working full time, managing the chaos of a post COVID world, not even healed from my C Section yet and here I was planning my attack & what was going to be the longest & hardest battle of my life.
I thought the lump was a clogged milk duct as many nursing mothers do… I fought to get it checked as my OBGYN said it was “nothing” & since I was postpartum & hormone positive; it essentially was a breeding ground for my tumor to grow at a crazy fast rate. (2 tumors over 7CM- inoperable when diagnosed). My son saved my life… if I didn’t have him & have the hormones raging, it could have taken me YEARS to feel it & god knows where else it could have traveled to by then.
4 months of the roughest Chemo (ACT - the red devil), followed by a double mastectomy with expanders, also removing 11 lymph nodes, to find 2 millimeters of cancer in 1 lymph node meaning I now needed radiation. 6 weeks of aggressive radiation, physical therapy twice a week to get my strength back & also combat the osteopenia I was diagnosed with during this, 6 months later finally having my implant surgery Nov 2022! Never did I think I would be grateful for this happening to me but I have to say I truly am. I appreciate people, places & simply things much more.
I’ve lost many women who battled along side me and I’m trying to turn my survivors guilt into something that can help others starting their journeys. My “purpose” to why this all happened is for me to help others. I’m focusing on the fact that I AM HERE and I’ll be damned if I don’t spread love, hope, empathy & courage to others along their journeys. I’m raising my children to show empathy, compassion & think above their own circumstances. Pain is temporary, your situation at any given time may SUCK but it could ALWAYS be worse. Living for each holiday, birthday, big life events, vacations & everything in between makes you cherish those moments so much more especially the fact that there are so many people that don’t get to do those things with their children or friends. My journey is far from over… I’ll battle this every day, taking medication that gives awful side effects, learning to live with the fear of reoccurrence & never ever giving up hope that I’ll grow old & enjoy every god damn moment in between!